Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
The day will come when I don’t reblog this.Today is not that day. *hits reblog button*
"50 State Stereotypes (in 2 Minutes)"
"Footbawls, drawls, and overawls"
ITS TOO COLD TO BE SOBER IS SO TRUE IT HURTS ME
Not all upper class at all : I by a damn long shot.
its funny how people in fandoms think theyre comedic geniuses for ruining text posts
i think youre ugly and so are your fandom references on my posts
you guys love poking bears with sticks don’t you
This entire post is perfect.